i let my kid watch tv and play with knives

not at the same time, of course.



ok so the second part is a lie.

but not the first. *gasp*

and i'm sure there are people out there who would rather have me condone the first.

but there are days when i need to take a shower. or eat. or have 10 minutes of quiet so that i don't have to lock myself in the basement.

so riley gets to watch tv.

not all day.

and he doesn't sit for more than 45 seconds. so he probably only watches in 45 second intervals anyway. (he gets his attention span from me).

we don't eat junk food in our house.

we don't have the tv on during family time or dinner.

we play board games and read books. a lot.

but sometimes tv is a necessary evil.

because mommy needs to maintain some sanity.

i know mommies that don't allow any tv.

or don't have a tv. (we don't have cable).

riley is a smart kid (yes, i like to toot my own horn. i like to think i have had some part in that).

he is a smart kid who watches tv sometimes.

sometimes, tho, i wonder why they advertise the ab circle pro on kids channels. when my kid shouts from the other room "hey mom. maybe you should get the ab circle pro" i am forced to reevaluate my life. and cry myself to sleep. during the day.

judgement

ever notice that no matter what you do, someone always has something to say?
take breastfeeding for example. when i put a bottle in macie's mouth, people look at me like i'm giving her poison. really? i tried my hardest to breastfeed. i gave it more than a good shot. and most days i still feel terrible about it. guilty. like i'm not doing my best for her. so i don't need it coming from somewhere else. "oh..you're not nursing?" no. no i'm not. i apparently don't love my kid enough. do me a favor and call child protective services? thanks, you're a dear.
did ysee me crying for weeks everytime i nursed? everytime macie was sprayed in her face with milk? choked the whole feeding because of my massive over-supply? attempt to comfort her as she screamed (and i mean screamed) for every.single.minute that she wasn't sleeping?
doubtful.
so don't even go there.
let me just say that i am not one to keep my mouth shut. sometimes i just glare. sometimes it takes everything in me to not say something immature like "oh...you're not capable of shutting your fat face?"
if i am doing something terrible, call me out on it. next time you see me driving with a carseat on top of my car, tell me that you don't really think that's a great idea.
yet, i have to admit that i am also a culprit. i am not innocent of all judgement. i roll my eyes at the woman swearing at her kids for saying piss. really? maybe if every other word out of your mouth wasn't piss, they wouldn't say it? i scoff at the dad letting his infant suck on a bottle filled with juice. tooth decay much? but i don't know them.
i guess what i'm trying to say is that we don't know anyone else's story. if someone is harming their children, step in. but you don't know why i don't breastfeed. and i don't know why you feed your baby juice. maybe you have your reasons? i know i do.
we need to support each other. there are moms we will never see eye to eye with. everyone has their own parenting style. everyone is entitled to make their own choices. but it would be so much easier if we had people to turn to. maybe those moms that we're judging can relate to us. maybe they feed they baby poison too?

will i ever be on time again?

i think not.
and it irks matt to no end.
while he sits in the car, cursing my sheer existence, i'm sure.
i do try my hardest, really.
but no matter how much time i leave myself, whether i pack the diaper bag the night before or not...i am always late.
i think it's inevitable. i might as well just give in.
because without a doubt, just as we're about to walk out the door, someone has to go potty, or someone projectile vomits over themself and everyone/thing within a 10 foot radius, or someone takes their shoes off (?), or someone needs to eat, or the keys are missing.
one time, i got out of the house on time. then i realized i forgot the kids. so i had to go back anway. and i was late. joking!
for realz tho, i would love to be able to amble my way to my destination.
instead you find me shaking my fist and swearing under my breath at that driver who DARED change lanes. or *gasp* slow down too much for the yellow light because damnit i could have driven a semi through there before the light turned red and now i'm stuck here behind your slow ass.
i'm really pretty high strung (to put it nicely) anyway, so constantly being late adds a whole new level to my insanity.
oh well. such is life, no?

i'm a stay-at-home-mom and i love it (but sometimes i want to rip my hair out)

yep. and sometimes i do.
this is definitely not a debate about who is better: moms who stay at home or moms who work. because i don't think either one is better.
for us, this is what works. we definitely make sacrifices so that i can be at home. i cannot indulge in my baby gap love affair as often as i would like. we don't go out to dinner as much as we would like. oh, and i don't buy $300 pairs of shoes. woe is my life, i know.
i truly, truly love staying at home. i get to watch my two little people grow. i get to do art projects, and sing songs, and play dinosaurs, and go to the museum.
but somedays i have to do art projects, and sing songs, and play dinosaurs, and go to the museum. and it gets lonely. and somedays i just neeeedddd an adult to talk to. today was one of those days. because staying at home is hard work. especially when you have a baby that doesn't nap. and a 3 year old that needs attention, too. and starbucks doesn't deliver. somedays it is just to much work to get out of the house.
today was one of those days. today was a day i was jealous of those moms with careers that they love. those moms that get to leave the house and do something they're good at. sometimes i'm just a jealous whore i guess.
but really, i'm proud to say i stay at home with my kids. i'm proud that matt and i are blessed enough to be able to make that happen. i am thankful that matt works so hard. and at 7pm, when i'm ready for bed i know that for every tough day there are more good days.

but really..can someone make macie nap. her constant gutteral whine is not very becoming. k?