Dear Baby Weight. We're Over.

At least I want us to be.
You see, with Riley I gained a lot of weight. Like 50 lbs a lot. And on my 5'2" frame, it was even more. I was not that cute pregnant girl. This time around, I only gained 19 lbs. I was sick the entire time. Like, vomiting sick. Like oh.my.god.i.am.going.to.die sick. Thank you, Macie. As a result, I lived off of white rice, pretzels & sprite (survival) and only gained 19 lbs. I was closely monitored by a perinatologist due to my bicornuate uterus and baybee was always growing fine. Anyway..the only place I gained weight was in mah belly. I got all the "oh you can't even tell you're pregnant except for your stomach". (With Riley I got the "ohhhh. you look...nice? no really. you do" Yeah OOOKKK. So I looked all cute and stuff this time. Wonderful, no? No. After I had Riley I still looked like a whale. But at least I was well-proportioned. I was fat all over. I lost a little from my stomach, a little from chin A, a little from chin B etc and so forth. And slowly it came off. This time? This time my legs and face got thinner as my stomach expanded while pregnant. Weight gain was not proportional. Therefore, once said baybee was expelled from said uterus, my stomach simply deflated. But nice and flat. More like..lumpy. Lumpy and stretched out. 10 weeks out, and despite breastfeeding/pumping that entire time, I don't feel like I've made much progress after those first few weeks. Everyone says how great you look (for just having had a baby). But I feel like a blimp. I still don't fit in any of my pants, and wearing maternity pants 10 weeks out is not fun or something to brag about. Problem is, I am only 3 lbs up from my prepregnancy weight. However, I am 3-4 pants sizes up. WTF?!?! How does that happen?? I understand "your body is never the same" "your hips change" yada yada yada. But COME ON. I refuse, completely and utterly refuse, to buy a completely new pants wardrobe. Especially since once my boobs release the small children they are apparently storing inside of themselves and return to semi-normal size, I will be able to fit in (hopefully) all of the wardrobe to cover my upper half. And when I was simply refusing (not completely and utterly refusing) to cave and buy new pants, I attempted to accomplish said task. FAIL. Complete and utter FAIL. Everything that fits around my waist without creating the muffin top sent directly from the devil, makes it look like I have the thighs of a 300 lb man. GAH. And the pants that fit my legs properly? Well let's just say I'd need a few extra feet of fabric because that button is no where near meeting that hole. NO WHERE. So I have two options. ONE: suck it up and buy new pants. This option also means accepting my current whale of a body. TWO: suck it up and get in shape. This option also means that I have to stop being lazy. Thanks to my current body image and aversion to spending money/looking like I have man thighs...I have decided it is time to get off my ass and get in shape. What this entails, I am not entirely sure. I've been slowly working at it for a few weeks now. (It took me 2 attempts at pants shopping to get mad enough at myself). Plus, at some point I'd like to put on a bathing suit again without making people puke in their mouths. Problem is, I'm lazy. I also have the attention span of an ant. But I am trying to be determined. Hopefully the maternity pants sliding down my ass everyday will serve as a constant, sad reminder. We shall see.