one time, i had another baby

so this is wayyy overdue. and mostly for my own nostalgic purposes. because riley's birth is fuzzy. except for the important parts. like holding him for the first time. and 5:44 am, 8 lbs 1 oz, 20.5 inches. and watching matt hold him and say "hi, baby". or watching my doctor use all of her body weight to pull at a t-bar to vaccum riley out of my lady parts. or the 23 hours that it took for him to be born. after i went to the doctor that morning, was told i was 3 cm, went to the hospital and stayed at 3 cm for, like, ever. or how my epidural made me a beached whale, that had to be rotated by 2 people (hotttt). and riley's massive conehead that i prayedddd would subside eventually. or how matt ate sandwiches and roast beef while i couldn't eat anything. or how my iv and epidural both took two attempts. and how i puked up gray stuff. oh and the horrible back labor that prompted the doctor to stand next to me, pumping stuff into the epidural that doesn't usually go in there. hm, i guess i do remember a lot.
soooo without further ado, i give you...macie's birth story!
more vaginas and spraying bags of water than you ever hoped to encounter.
let us travel back in time to the end of october. 10.29.09 to be exact. macie's due date was 11.19.09. i had been saying for weeks that i wasn't going to make it to my due date. i have no idea why. i just didn't think i would. maybe it was because i thought i would die if i had to throw up daily for that much longer. anyway. the morning of the 29th. i woke up to contractions (which i had been having irregularly for weeks). oh and blood. yay. i got excited until i timed my contractions. they were like every 8 mins. then every 10. then completely irregular. so i went to work that afternoon. at about 5 my contractions started to hurt more. around 6:30 they were every 4-5 mins. so i went home. butttt it was almost halloween. and we hadn't carved pumpkins yet. gasp! so i stopped at the grocery store to get a pumpkin (because the ones we had from the pumpkin farm were rotten). then i had to go to walgreens to get a carving kit. none to be found "my god people! im in labor! find me a damn pumpkin carving kit!" no luck. so i went home. and found a stencil on the internet. matt asked if we could just carve pumpkins tomorrow. i think i responded somewhere along the lines of "no, you fool! we're not going to be here tomorrow! gawd!" so matt and ry carved pumpkins while i paced and made sure i had everything i needed. by now the contractions were pretty painful (have i mentioned yet that i'm a giant baby?). i knew i couldn't stay at home too long because i tested positive for group b strep and needed iv antibiotics during labor. so we took ry to my dad and stepmom's house. we decided on a middle name (evelyn) on the way to the hospital. we were lucky we had picked a first name a few days earlier.
we got to the hospital around 8:30 or 9. now, i'm not going to lie. i figured i would get there and they'd be all "ohhhh look at you. you're already 8 cm (or at least 7)" nope. 3. 3 f-ing cm. i forgot how much labor hurts. plus i'm a big baby. with riley i didn't really go in with any expectations. i got an epidural because, again, labor hurts. this time i told myself i was going to try to do without. at least for as long as possible. an hour later i was asking for an epidural (by asking i mean begging through gritted teeth). i think i was about 5 or 6 cm when i got the epidural. i love when they come to make you sign the forms. "sooo you could get a really bad headache. or have some spinal damage. or you could die" and i'm all "I DON'T CARE. THIS SHIT HURTS. I AM WILLING TO RISK DEATH BECAUSE, WELL, THIS SUCKS". i give sooo much credit to those girls who can give birth naturally. it's just not me. after thanking jesus for the gift of epidurals, i relaxed. my ob was actually on rotation at the hospital that night. good planning, right?
macie was doing wonderfully. good heart rate, movements, etc.
my water partially broke. yes, partially. you will soon understand how i know it wasn't all of it. this time my epidural was wayyyy better. i was still able to move quite a bit. much less whale-like. much less embarrassing.
have i mentioned the super cute resident that was assigned to me? well, he was super cute. everytime he came in, matt would say something like "he's weird". and me, being the sensitive, loving wife that i am, would be all "why? because he's super hot? and looking at my vagina? yea, that does equal weird"
then i made the super cute doctor fall in love with me. this is how it happened. he decided to check to see if i was fully dilated yet. so he went about doing so. then. then. the rest of my water popped and sprayed in his face. does life get any better than that? i think not.
anyway. i started pushing around 2 am. macie was born at 2:36 on 10.30.09. way easier than riley's birth. macie was also only 6lbs 15oz. 21 inches. she decided not to cry when she was born. totally fun for me *not*. her initial apgars were a little low because of tone and lack of crying (she is presently making up for it). they had to give her a little oxygen and she perked up. her second apgars were great. they did watch her a little more closely because of the group b strep.
i think that's about it.
aren't you glad you read that?